when we surprise ourselves

those are really good moments. today I had that day. when from moment to moment I really wondered if I knew myself at all? huffing the damp air, I sloppily pushed foot in front of foot across the seagull stained rocks. I watched happily as two dogs co-existed while not co-exisitng together in an environment much more suitable than I provide...otters, eagles, fowl, dead things, alive things, waves, mountains. I was easily able to fade in the distance while better things captivated them. I think I recall not thinking, over and over again, and liking it. Liking the eraser feel on my brain. Liking feeling my feet moving the ground beneath them, crunch, slide, sink. It wasn't until later when I realized what happened to my day. I looked down into my lap and found a small cat. Curling herself as small as could be, she purred and burrowed into what must have felt safe. Throughout the remainder of the afternoon, every step I took was followed by Gina the cat. Every time I sat down...Gina the cat. Every time I moved...Gina the cat. I did not knit, I did not mend, I did not read...I spent my day with Gina, a cat. My love for this cat has been surprise # 1. Listening to Fleetwood Mac, while adoring a cat was surprise # 2. Listening to Fleetwood Mac, while adoring a cat and drawing a bath was surprise # 3. Who was I becoming? A 60 year old has been in crushed velvet, with 17 cats, pink wine and tv dinners? "Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies....Tell Me Lies."